Mr Brown AIM Attitude

AIM ATTITUDE (I have a choice)


My life wasn’t as great as it is now I didn’t know who I was who I wanted to be or what I truly wanted for myself in life I went through life as if I were in a dream I was detached from the world around me, the people around me nothing made me truly happy or excited about life. I allowed people to walk all over me. Use me for their personal gain and basically just accepted it. I went through life just accepting whatever came my way, the good or the bad it didn’t matter it was mostly bad. I pulled even more negative circumstances to my life because I did not care about my life and was just drifting through it, thinking my life won’t change and there is nothing better out there for me. That whatever point I was in my life at the time that was my life. I allowed people to take advantage of me. They used me to get whatever they wanted, the money I just accepted it never questioning their actions, always doing things to gain their acceptance.
The more I worked for their acceptance, the more they used me to get what they wanted. I remembered my roommate asking me to do him a favor, I jokingly replied cool I’ll do it because we are friends to which he replied that we weren’t as direct as could be but to be accepted I paid no attention to something that should have been obvious. He wasn’t my friend. It wasn’t just my roommates I was eager to be accepted, that I just gave myself away to be used for other’s personal gain. Then I was forced to see that I was being used. My brother came to visit me and started asking questions why I was paying so much money for rent. My roommate had said we had back payments that we couldn’t ignore anymore. I paid a large sum of money every week. I was living from check to check. He even proved to me that he was paying the same amount as me. I believed him, but he wasn’t paying the same as me.
While I couldn’t even make an extra purchase that was necessary, he was going out with all these different women, buying new iPods, iPods etc I was the one paying all the bills and rent. I was so eager to be accepted that I didn’t even notice, that I was being used. The day I found out that I was being used I was so angry, that I just moved out. I felt so ashamed and embarassed that I just didn’t care anymore. The only people i trusted did not care about me after that nothing appealed to me. I felt empty, alone and betrayed. I had always known Anita, we talked from time to time. She had always given me advise in the past, but I never told her what happened. She could tell something was boardering me.

Through our many discussions, I remembered her telling me about my attitude and that I had a choice. I could chose to let whatever it was that eating at me continue to do so or I could accept things as they were and learn to move on with my life. For the first time in my life I understood that I had a choice, I could let go of my negative situation, let go of being disappointed by people I trusted. So I made the decision to move forward with my life. AIM Attitude gave me the understanding that I had a choice. I could continue to be angry, miserable and let things be as they were or I could consciously make the decision to move forward with my life. So I moved forward with my life. I have a choice that what AIM ATTITUDE means to me.